Do you know me my love?

Though the news of divorce fails to gain interest in the modern times, the news of increase in the number of divorce gained my attraction when I was reading news paper this morning. The survey conducted by the popular news paper of the country gave shocking results as the most common causes for divorce were seemed to be very silly. The element that called my attention was the age factor.  It’s true that divorce is a universal phenomena, but it was a shocking information to me that the more number of divorces were among the couples of my age i.e. 25-30!!

All of us know that the keyword for a good married life is Mutual understanding. Don’t you think that it is a very general term? Like every married couple; I also did have often repeated friction in my married life. Some of my friends may find it a bit offensive in this revelation, but let me tell you one thing. It is quite natural. Both the partners took birth in different families and so, different cultures. They spent more number of years in their lives in a different environment. In this context, if there is no problem among partners, we must assume that something is wrong with either one of the partners.

I feel so and thus, I thought to share my way of a healthy ‘family life’. Now, let’s see what I have done to make my family atmosphere the best

1)      I love him

I love him from the bottom of my heart. I always used to be around him even though I make it a point to give him enough room for his personnel activities. I have several other commitments and relationships around me like my parents, in-laws, relatives and friends. I love them as well, but the difference between my love to them and love to him are quite evident. My love to them is conditional, whereas my love to him is unconditional. I don’t love him because he loves me or he takes good care of me. I love him because he is my man.

2)      I am open to recognize him

His success boosts me better than mine. I don’t hesitate to congratulate him when he really deserves it. I love to watch him to be the most successful and handsome man on earth. You might be feeling a bit hesitant to follow my example as your husband might feel odd with this new development. Do one thing. Start with the very basic thing. When he wears a new shirt and if you feel that he looks good in that shirt, tell him with all your love and if you find it not so good, be truthful and better not to comment.

3)      I Understand that he understands me

Most women complain that husband does not understand them, but it is not the reality. I always felt that he understands me better than anyone else on earth. He understands better than me. He understands my caliber, he understands my feelings and he understands my emotions. In the meanwhile, you want to tell that you never felt that your husband does understand you, but your feeling has cheated you this time and you don’t need to tell him that ‘you don’t understand me’ as he hates to listen it.

4)      He is my best friend
Everyone loves to spend time with friends, and what if your husband is your best friend. The happiness will pave the way for joy with such a best friend. He always gave me company wherever I want to be with and I always tried to enjoy all his entertaining moments. We never wanted to term this mutual enjoyment as adjustment as adjustment is sacrificing, which makes one partner superior. Frankly speaking, I always loved to enjoy his superiority.

Being a woman my experiences are focused on women, but these tips are good for men as well, if you could internalize my ideas. It is tested and proved, so the most effective at least in my case.

English is the greatest language on earth

“English is the greatest language on earth”. Today, I consider this as a great statement. You also might be counting this statement as something really valuable for many reasons. Your reasons may include

                  English is the language of globalization

                  English is the language of the Internet

                  English is the official language in 52 countries

                  1/4th of the global population understands it

                  1/3rd of them speak it to some degree

Etc…..etc….etc….. But my reason for considering this statement as ‘great’ is not any of the above. Now you might be confused…then what is my reason. So simple….It disturbed my sleep this morning with a lesson. Lesson!!!! What lesson??? Let’s see

Someone was announcing about the greatness of English through a mike for advertising their language Institute and unfortunately this particular sentence had the fate to wake me up in this January morning, while I wanted to cuddle my pillow and sleep. Till today, I loved English, but this unfortunate event made me think about the negatives of English. Negatives!!! Does English have negatives also? Your answer might be a No…, but my answer is yes to a greater extent. George Bernard Shaw could state it, then why not me?

Mr. Shaw constructed the word GHOTI to illustrate the irregularities of English language.  The theory elaborates the term Ghoti is the speling of the word fish. You must be wondering how? Here is your explanation.

                    gh, pronounced /f/ as in tough /tʌf/;

                    o, pronounced /ɪ/ as in women /ˈwɪmɪn/; and

                    ti, pronounced /ʃ/ as in nation /ˈneɪʃən/

Furthermore, here in this unphonetic language, we write Ghoti and read it as fish, whereas in several other languages, we don’t need to be an expert in the phonetics to read the language. In those languages, you only need to learn the alphabets and vowels to read the language without any confusion. On contrast, here in English, we read nature as nechar and future as foochar.

Now don’t you think that English is a stupid language? To add your confusion, let me suggest you to go to the dictionary and find how unphonetic this language is. This is only a small reason for this cause. There are several other exceptions in English Grammar and style. But let me state that, with all these irregularities , I respect English from the bottom of my heart. You must be wondering why? Why am I taking such a double standard, right? The reason is simple. English could become the no: 1 language of the world with all these irregularities. With this feature, this language gave me a great lesson. Your negatives do not prevent you to become a winner.  Even after having a lot of negatives, you can emerge as a winner. I must thank English for such a great lesson. I got this lesson when I woke from sleep. So friends awake ignore your negatives and try for a great life. You can achieve it.

Adieu Dear Blue Bird

Dear blue bird, look, how unlucky I am

I missed that glimpse when he passed

Kept my eyes open all day and night, but

He passed on that moment of misfortune

I was vigilant till that very moment, but

The tiresome of long strive made it a miss

Being lamentable, heart wishes to follow

But, the most doomed, I have no wings

Oh bird, I can’t fly to catch his glimpse

Why only birds blessed with wings

Why not me, who like to fly like a bird

I say oh bird; you are the luckiest on earth

You have a panoramic view as you fly

No need to wait for a glimpse of love

Being deprived of a panorama, I am lost

Lost in this deep forest in search of my man

Crying out his name in a voice that echoes

Not sure, whether I go in the right way

There is something that comforts me

The thought of him, who searches me

Putting a pause on my call, I listen

Listen to hear my name called by him, but

there was only my own voice that echoed

Bird, can you tell me something,

Are we going in opposite directions?

Bird, how can I understand   your speech?

You do have a panorama, but no words

I do have words but no bird's eye view.

Trying to reach the horizon, I couldn’t do it

Horizon was not kind enough to wait for me

It displaced itself whenever I reached it

Where to go, east, west, North or south?

Bird, who told you that earth, is round?

 If it’s true, all ways must lead me to one place

Some way or the other, I shall reach him

Now, I’m not hesitant to Set apart for it.

On a jaunt, I say you adieu oh dear bird

Being Immaculate

“The environment we live has a definite impact on our personality” is a very well known fact and is being proved by participatory research. Today, I have a story for endorsing this truth. The heroes of my story are two twin parrots who lived on one of the branches of a tall Banyan tree in a village. Once day, both the twins fell down from the nest during heavy rains and bad climate. Their mother could not save them. One parrot was saved by some thieves, whereas the other one was saved by some nuns.

One day, the crowned prince of the kingdom visited the village and he met the parrot who lived with thieves. The parrot did not have anything good at his tongue and he was abusing the prince. When the prince tried to catch the parrot it flew away. To the Prince’s astonishment he could see the same parrot when he reached the next town and now, the parrot was really loving and it welcomed the crowned prince with respect.

Prince was surprised and asked for details and the nuns told him the reality. We can see a similar incident in Bible. When Jesus was caught by the soldiers, Peter and John were there with him. When they reached the prosecution place, John went inside with Jesus, whereas Peter preferred to stay out of the place. Jesus, even though locked with chain was able to protect John from sin as he was with him.

On the other hand, Peter could not control himself and had to deny being a disciple of the Christ. He had to face this situation for the reason of choosing an unwanted environment. Similarly we also can face such a situation. To become a teetotaler, we must stay out of the reach of alcohol. This is same with every aspects of life. To be immaculate, we need to stay out of sin and other unwanted situations.

Where is the shelter

I am afraid I am afraid I am afraid

I am afraid of this barbarous world

I look for a shelter from adversity

In darkness, eyes went for a gander

Wish to flee from pain and hardship

I think of an asylum where I can stay

Devoid of felicity, tears left my eyes

Those drops inspired me to depart

Leaving this vicious world forever

Renouncing this spirit, I look for peace

Calmness, that leads into the ultimate

Intending for happiness, I want to leave

Leaving to an ultimate shelter forever

Being given up, My poor heart asked me, 

What is the shelter and who is the shelter

My answer

“You were outstanding in your college days…. But now, you are not writing in that way….why? Why are you not producing similar output even after having a lot of experience in life?” You are not drawing well, you are not singing well, you are not studying as you did and you are not even reading books which were your passion. What happened? and what caused for such a very drastic change? This is an often question whenever I meet my old friends, relatives or teachers. You also must have faced similar questions in your life.

People ask such questions to show their concern and consideration to us. They consider such comments and questions as part of positive stroke. Some people show a tendency to compare such comments to renaissance and revival of English society that paved the way to modernization. But, are they really saving their anticipated purpose? Let’s have a brief look on the reality behind the failure of a talented person. I would like to give a few examples from my own life to explain this context.

Recently a very close friend has gifted me a few set of pencils. I was very happy to receive them as I was badly in need of those pencils. But, I needed them and wanted those twenty years back. If I were having them as a student, I would have performed miracles in white paper and would have been known as a good painter. Instead, ‘the little me’ had to picture all my imaginations on the wall and in return I received a lot of abuse and slapping on my face. Unknowingly my little brain developed a fear that forbade me to draw.

Similarly, when I wrote in a different style, my parents, relatives and teachers created a block in my heart saying that “all writers are bad people and you as a girl cannot join that ‘dirty club’”. I then had to hide my imaginations in my own heart. As time passed the complicated experiences of my life made me forget that ‘I can write’. The singer in me also died in similar passion and I finally became a ‘mere me’ instead of becoming a painter, writer or singer. Today, I am very happy to receive these pencils and I am expecting these pencils to play the role of a reviving agent.

Twenty years back, I wanted them and if I got them at that time, I would have made wonders and today when I got it, I am finding it difficult to use them with the similar heart as my heart and brain are shaped with another pace. Today, what I want is something else and I have no idea when will I get it? I hope I may not require 20 more years when I will find it difficult to use it. Look at the nature. A plant needs the extra amount of nitrogen and zinc during its initial years, but after becoming a tree they require it in a very lesser quantity. I hope this is an answer for all those who ask questions about my inefficiency. This answer is not only for me, but for all those who face similar questions and situations.

Be loyal and watch Miracles in life

Irrespective of the differences in language, religion and region most of us share a common feeling in unanswered prayers. We often complain about having no answer for our prayers.  In the book of New Testament Bible, we are assured that all our prayers are answerable if we have strong faith without any doubt. After reading this also, we must be wondered again about unanswered prayers.

I have heard many people saying, “I believed without any doubt that my prayer will get answer, but there was none”. I also have faced the same issue several times and some time or the other, my vindictive heart kept myself away from God. This is not an exclusive case occurrence for me. You, my readers also might have experienced it at least once in life.  

Why?    What is the reason for this silence? Doesn’t God care to answer our prayers?     The Almighty must be facing thousands of similar questions on a daily basis.  Here, I have an answer for this question. All of us know about the resurgence of Lazar. From the New Testament, we can read that Lazar’s family was very close to Jesus. This made Mary and Martha, Lazar’s sisters to send a person for Jesus, when their only brother was sick. They expected the miracle worker to visit their house as always and heal their brother. But, Jesus did not turn out. He did not even care to enquire about Lazar’s sickness.

Exhausted Mary and Martha waited for a day and that evening, their brother expired. Mary really loved Jesus and she was a true disciple. Yet, she felt bad as Jesus did not even attend the funeral ceremony of her brother. She could not believe Jesus do such a merciless deed. That made Mary stays back at home when Jesus, visited their house on the 4^th day of Lazar’s funeral. Instead she sent her sister. She expected Jesus to come and console her. Mary failed to maintain her loyalty to Lord as she was looking at the situation.

Martha, to maintain the manners went outside her house to receive Jesus. But, Jesus instead of visiting his mourning disciple went to the grave yard of Lazar. Martha and others were surprised to see Jesus doing that. He asked them to remove the stone of the grave. Hearing this all were shocked. They tried to resist Jesus saying that the dead body must be in a bad condition as it is the 4^th day. But Jesus was adamant.

It was stinking, when they opened the grave. When they obeyed him, Jesus did not perform any magical deeds. He had not done big chanting or prayers. Instead he said only three words, “Lazar, Come out”. There emerged the living healthy Lazar. His body was covered with the clothes used to wrap the dead body. Mary was not there to watch this miracle.

It is true that she got her brother back, but she could not watch one of the most celebrated miracles of Jesus, when he was on earth. Jesus was, is and will be loyal to his promises, but Mary could not maintain her loyalty as she loved her brother more than Jesus. This is a lesson for us. Let us not repeat the same mistake again. Let’s have constant faith in Jesus. So that we can see his great miracles happening in our lives.