The need

Sitting in front of the dentist for the routine checkup was not a serious process, but it’s a bit longer this time. Why the doctor is taking more time looking at the x-ray film of my left pre-molar? What is the problem?When questions tried to invade the heart, Angela took off her specs and cleaned it with her towel and placed it back on the face. This is the third pair of spectacles after the retirement. In fact, the time to change it is over before three months, but waiting alone outside the doctor’s office for the appointment made her not to go to the hospital. ‘’Your pre-molar is almost dead and we need to remove it. You must have someone to accompany during the surgery’. Angela slowly raised her eyelids to look at the person who said this. It was the nursing assistant. “Today, none is with me, is it fair if I arrange someone to accompany me in the next appointment?”

On leaving the clinic, she went to the department store to buy the cereals and vegetables for the week. She was not sure about the bystander who will help her to face a surgery at the age of sixty. Returning from the department store alone with the food items was not easy as expected, so she hired a taxi. Like every other evening, that also was an ordinary monotonous one. There was of course an addition: an addition of a new anxiety: an anxiety about the person to accompany during surgery. Trying to find a solution, she finally decided to postpone the surgery. Let the pre-molar decay by itself. She anticipated the future pain that may arise during the tooth decay, but it doesn't prevent her from taking this decision.

The next evening, while walking through the village road, ‘the pre-molar’ visited her thoughts once again. “As it is a tooth surgery, I could avoid it. If it is a serious health problem, how will I manage?” The question remained unanswered though she returned home. The question kept her awake that night.  Being awake, she looked at the calendar- 15^th August, the eve of 14/8. That was a special evening in Angela’s life as it is the thirtieth anniversary of her being single. It was on this day; Stanley left her forever to live with Anne. Stanley must have celebrated this day with his wife as their thirtieth wedding anniversary. Why doesn't the society promote people to celebrate the anniversary of being single? It might because the man takes birth as a single on earth and that day is celebrated as the birthday. She laughed at herself for entertaining such strange thoughts.

Though such unintelligent thoughts brought a bit relief, Angela was still confused about the person to be with. Somewhere after the midnight, she slept without leaving the confusion. Next morning she couldn't make up to attend the church prayer as she woke up late. While reading the news paper, she wanted to discuss the current affairs with someone. She never had this feeling in last thirty years, then why now? She couldn't understand the latest developments in her own persona. ‘Rather than the change in persona, these changes are more physical’ she thought. When left by her husband, she was only thirty. In spite of the repeated demands from both Stanley’s parents and her own parents, she preferred to stay single. Being a childless woman, it was not difficult for her to manage a single life. Support from both her parents as well as in-laws were there during the initial stages. By the time, they were no more, her single status became a habit and she never did repent on her decision, but....?

But now, as she gets older and older she wants someone to be with, not for sensual pleasure but for physical and emotional support. She wished for the one who can speak with her while they have tea, the one who can accompany her during the evening walk, the one who anxiously wait outside when she is in the doctor’s room. Thinking about the past, she realized that she still stands in the same point where she lost herself, at the age of thirty. The mind still had the same wishes and desires, but the body doesn't support them. A partner is a necessity during youth, but it is a compulsion during old age. Though, she could see the reality of life, she couldn't convince herself. Yet, she started reading the matrimonial classifieds in the news paper.