4/6/13

The weep of a bleeding heart





Listening to someone’s smash, I opened my heart
I saw a question that waited me to be invited for
A perplexed question of a mother who lost her baby
A question of why? Of which answer is complicated
Because my answer is the story of a bleeding heart
A mother who lost her infant without any cause
A mother whose lap is empty with oozing bosom
A mother who was told to leave her baby forever
A mother who delivered a baby that doesn't belong her
Like I was told that the poem I wrote is not mine

As someone else wrote similar lines in another language
How can it to be justified? Why such a huge denial?
Why is the mother asked to forget the sufferings?
How can she forget the anxiety of those nine months?
What about the severity of the pain during delivery
Where is the joy after the long painful times?
I do understand the pain of the mother as I undergo
I do undergo the pain of loss of my own creation
The creation that granted me long sleepless nights
The creation that drew thoughts and views in rhythm

A creation that flew like streams of joy in my heart
A creation that pained my soul on its birth
A creation I wrote with blood in my own self
A creation that made me feels that I am not alone
The creation that made me proud that it is mine
A creation that satisfied the whole me with words
Alas, let the earth break up to get me in her bosom
As today, I was told that my poem does not belong to me
Someone else has a right on it, someone else stronger

Like the mother who’ll never see the face of her baby again
I also am end up in a disaster as it hurts so much to know
My poem that borne out of my soul will never be called as mine
I can’t cherish my precious memories of writing it anymore
I called out and cried to show my bleeding heart in a loud voice
I was collapsed like the mother who lost her own infant
A mother is connected to her baby with an invisible chord
A chord of feelings and emotions that is not visible to others
Similar to the chord that binds a mother and her lost baby
I also am attached to the words that I wrote being its mother

Though no one can see, I know that it's there, an invisible cord
From my creation to me like I do have with my creator the Almighty
It’s hard to describe the strength of this cord that can't be destroyed
Though others may not agree, I know it in my soul and can't be denied.
The bond that stands as it is stronger than any bond human could produce
Like the unfortunate mother, I want to hold and I want to be with
But being called as a thief, I am compelled to leave it forever
Like the mother who was asked to leave her own baby
I am asked to delete it from my heart, soul and my page
With a bleeding heart and tearful eyes, I am about to edit it

But I can’t delete from my heart and soul as I gave it birth
Even such a thought is dreadful to me that pull at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore like a helpless mother who lost her baby
All my written words vague where nothing can be seen and read
All the thoughts I named are unclear like an undecipherable inscription
Someone asked me to rewrite the words and lines to solve the dilemma
But I can’t as I gave birth to my poem in the bottom of my heart
As it is not possible for a mother to restructure her baby once gave birth
I will never allow my hands to spoil the nature of my soul borne
Instead I will cherish it within my heart like a lifeline across my soul
Like a passionate mother who lives in the memoirs of love and affection





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