Please stop calling me a fool

Like a couplet of previous years, loneliness was my only companion in my last birthday as well. Both my parents didn't even bother to remember my birthday and at noon I told my mom about the day. I demanded her to give me sweets and she suddenly agreed. In the evening, my dad brought some sweets and my mom told that those sweets would be my birthday sweet and I was very happy to have them. Those sweets were really good and were of an expensive brand. In fact, I expected my mom to cook some payasam so that I can give it to my friends and neighbors, but there was no such move from her side. The taste and brand value of those sweets calmed me. I was really happy and had some pieces of sweets from Dad’s box and went out to bring gifts for my parents and neighbors.  I spent much to get gifts and sweets for my parents and made a good day for them. I told myself that this day is not mine; it is the day of my parents. Today is the anniversary of the day when my mom became a mother for the first time and my dad became a father for the first time. I deleted the memory of all the pain suffered from them in my life and thanked them for giving me birth and cooked special dishes for them. I spent much time in the kitchen and after the dinner, I overheard my dad speaking to someone over phone that today is the 5^th wedding anniversary of his subordinate and her husband sent sweet boxes for all the employees from New Zealand. He got a box full of sweets among others to celebrate the happiness of a wedding anniversary. “That was named as my birthday sweet!!!”. Actually that must be named as s 'pseudo birthday sweet'.

I was shocked on this injustice. I locked myself in the room and looked at my own image in the mirror; I could not find me there. I could see the image of a fool there. In the meanwhile I heard my mom wishing my dad’s subordinate on her wedding anniversary. My mom was exclaiming on the expensive gift she received from her husband who works abroad. I looked at my hands, they were empty. I again looked at my image; there I could see the same image with head down. I felt like laughing at myself. I was trying to find happiness among unhappiness.  My effort was to seek life in the desert. In the novel, the Alchemist, Paulo Coelho wrote about life in the desert. To win the test of being his disciple, the Alchemist asks Santiago to find life in the desert. As it was one of the compulsory criteria, Santiago sets out to find life in the desert and he finally succeeds in his mission. The world glorifies the protagonist as he became a success and could become the disciple of the Alchemist who knows the way to the pyramids where the treasure lays, but I will never term the life in the desert as a symbol of success as he could find a poisonous snake there.  Life does not count as perfect with poison, as it is harmful for others.

After shedding lot of tears, I compared myself with Santiago and tried to bring positive thoughts in my brain. In the novel, Santiago gets his real love and a big treasure in his own town. I also expected myself to get that. I dreamed myself to become a big writer and a Nobel Prize winner. I closed my eyes and I had a soothing image before my eyes, my husband. Suddenly I opened my lap top to see his image. My desktop wall paper was his image. I looked at his eyes. I wanted to hear his voice, so I dialed his number but his phone was not in range.  His eyes was comforting, I felt that I am not alone in this world. I have my real love to be with me forever.  I went back to the mirror once again. There I could see me: the beautiful, elegant, confident and impudent “me”. I could not believe my eyes as there was such a visible change from my previous image. I tried to compare my current image with that fool’s image with head down. I felt that both of them are different creatures. They have no relation with each other. There I could realize the strength I get with the presence of my husband. If his image strengthens me like this, I count myself as a success in his shadow. With this feeling, I started writing a poem. I took more than a month to finish that small poem as I changed, words, meters and phrases in it often.

I transferred my heart into the poem. I portrayed all my wishes in it. With it, I told my husband that how important he is to me, I made him feel that I want his hands to close my eyes when I die. I completed it and I was proud of myself as I am the author of such a lovely and heart touching poem. Even though I wrote about death,  I could see life in the poem. I loved the contrast of life and death in it as I read the contrast of life and desert in the Alchemist. I became very happy whenever I read it. Almost a year passed and my situations changed to a happy mode. I believed that I don’t need to be a fool anymore. Unlike in the case of last year, I will spend my next birthday with the person I love the most. I wanted the world to know that, I am not a failure. I started counting myself as a success. I believed that I will give birth to 11 kids, so that I can constitute a cricket team. I enjoyed my days in the memory of my unborn kids. I played with the dress I bought for them. I was in an ecstasy, as if I reached somewhere near my ultimate destination.  One night, I was watching a movie and I could hear a song that repeated the same words of my poem. I could suddenly realize my words and the feelings and emotions associated with each word. I told my man, that it is my poem. The only difference was, I wrote it in English and the song was in my local dialect.

My husband browsed the net and told me that the lyricist of this poem wrote it before I finished writing mine. He was confused whether my poem is a plagiarized one. The dismemberment caused by it was such that I could not even understand the depth of the situation. The next day, I sat alone and recalled my pain and emotions associated with each words of that poem. I remembered how deeply I desired to die when I wrote each word in it and how intensely I wanted the presence of my husband in my final moments, but unfortunately I had no proof to prove my originality. I posted the poem ten days after the audio release of that particular song. In fact, I never heard that song before, but nobody will trust me as the man who wrote the song is an acclaimed lyricist. To maintain the authority, I need to remove my poem from my blog was the suggestion I received from my friends. I didn't understand the relevance of that suggestion. Similar to the expensive sweets belonged to someone else, my own poem, where I depicted my heart was said to be owned by someone else. I was made to believe that the sweets are mine, but I am sure that the poem is mine. I could not control my tears from making a stream below my eyes.  Suddenly I ran to the mirror to see my face. Yes, there was the image of a fool.

After shedding some tears, I again tried to think positively. Suddenly I remembered a dialogue in a recent movie. When the hero loses his love he says, the alcohol drank for her and the rain water that laid on her behalf have gone waste. Suddenly my disappointed mind tried to make a new statement for me. The effort I spent for my parents and the pride I hold for my poem have gone waste. I tried to demonstrate this as the biggest comedy of my life in this year, but even this low level comedy could console me. Someone, might be my ego cried inside me to quit my writing career. There was very big war happening inside my mind. The war between the fool and me. I tried to focus on other things but I could not, I wanted to go out for a walk. That also didn’t regain ‘the me’ in me. I was terrified to watch my image in the mirror, but I had to. So, I went back to the mirror and saw the same fool, and this time it was with the head down as I expected. Again the fool defeated me in the great war. The world remained as viewers. In that big match, I expected the support of the world as Coelho wrote, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it". My expectation remained fruitless as the support of the world was not for me, instead they shouted the name fool. The repeated calls of fool made me insane. I wanted to tell the world that 'I am not a fool, even though I seem like a fool, I really am not….Please….. please……. please stop calling me a fool'. But my voice refused to come out and what came out was only two drops of tears- The tears of an insane.

Love is not blind

Love is blind, a parlance hard to believe, as

I opened my eyes when I fell in love with you

I could see and look clearly only when I am in love

I could learn and realize things well in your love

I could see everything I missed in life without you

I see the meaning of love only when you love me

I see the depth of care when I am in your arms

I see the pride of a woman as I am your love

I see the esteem of being myself as I am your love

I see the courage in me only when you loved me

I looked at me as the person of caliber in your love

I looked at me as the prettiest as I’m in your love

I looked at others and found that they are not bad

I looked at me as the most merciful when I’m with you

I looked around and found the beautiful world with you

I n your love I could read and distinguish the nature

In your love I could advance myself as a human being

In your love only I acquired everything special on earth

In your love I believe every plebeian parlance on earth

In your love, now I deny this by saying Love is not blind

Love is not blind, Love is not blind and Love is not blind

Rest in Peace

In a fine evening, the light house keeper was mounting the stairs to reach the top of the light house. He was holding a small candle to direct his way. As he needs to pass several steps to reach on top, he was careful not to bear down the candle light. On the way, the candle asked him a small question, “where are we going? And why are we going there?”. The man answered in a low voice, ‘We are going on top of this light house. We need to do a very big mission there. Our mission is to guide the ships sailing through the ocean. They organize their route by following the direction shown by the light in the light house. “

Listening him, the candle became confused and it asked, “How is it possible? My small light will give a very vague view and may misguide huge ships. They will misunderstand me as a bee and so I don’t think that I can provide direction guidance to huge ships. ” The LH Keeper had a distinctive voice while answering this question. He said, “It is your thought, Let your small beam to continue its light, I will take care of the rest.”

After some time they reached on top of the light house. A large lamp was placed on top and the LH keeper lightened that lamp with the light from the small candle. It was a big light that could guide huge ships to find its way and direction. Looking at the bigger light in the lamp, the candle could not believe it eyes. It could not even think that it had such a huge potential. It’s mind was full of self esteem and shortly after that the LH keeper turned off the candle light, but the candle light was in peace in its last moment.

I still am in peace

Like all others, the only intention of my life was to get peace and comfort. Every single day of my life offered me a very hectic schedule and I could not understand even the meaning of peace. I didn’t like the life in my small uncomfortable house. I hated my colorless dresses and I disliked my cheap food items. I hated my modest job that helped me to make my both ends meet. I would have been much peaceful and comfortable if I had a lot of money. My confused mind was in search of getting opportunities. For that, I browsed the internet several times in a day to find better opportunities of employment and business. Every opportunity I find involved a hard element and it was hard work.

“Gold prices rose by Rs 82 to Rs 30,989 per 10 gm in futures trade on Monday as speculators enlarged their positions, driven by a firming trend in the Asian region amid pick up in spot demand.” While reading this piece of news in an economic website, I was thinking about the fast growth of gold as a commodity.  Of all the precious metals Gold gained slant and it still maintains its position as the most popular investment. The history of Gold as the most desirable reserve fund has started from time immemorial. The attraction towards gold had laid foundation to several innovations since the beginning and the best example is chemistry that began as alchemy. Alchemy proposed a philosopher’s stone that could transform all base metals to noble metals namely gold and silver.

On the way to bed, all my thoughts were focused on only one thing and that was gold. As the price of the gold grew hastily on a daily basis, I wanted to accumulate the maximum amount of gold I could. My business mind made reasoning by calculating the profit I had on the gold I already bought and it was enormous and it boosted me to a great extent.  As often I couldn’t embrace a comfortable sleep since my mind was wandering for the sources of capital with which I could buy gold. While sleeping, I had several dreams of me becoming very rich with the increased profit from gold. In next few days, I sold all my belongings including my house and bought gold.

I expected my gold to bring a minimum profit of 40% with next three months. I dreamt of buying a bigger house in the next year. In my imagination, I became the fastest driver on earth in my new Ferrari. I also wanted to buy one BMW for my aesthetic purposes.  All my dreams had only one ground and it was gold. As expected cost of gold gained momentum and it seemed to fulfill all my dreams. To make sure of my gold reserve to be safe, I decided to protect them in a bank locker.  Once it had moved to the locker, I became much relaxed and I had a sound sleep after many days. The future life of laziness, where the gold work for my comfort fascinated me and that thought led me to cuddle towards myself in the next morning. Yet, I left the bed in next few minutes as I wanted to read the news paper to know the increase in the gold price.

The primary headline of the news paper was about some new invention and I didn’t want to spend my precious time to read such a silly thing. So, I turned my attention to the business page where I can read the update in gold price. Even after having several scan, I couldn’t find the price of the gold on that day. Instead every nuke and corner of the news paper was filled with the great success achieved by the chemists in the field of metallurgy. So, I thought of reading about that innovation and took the front page of the news paper once again. While reading it, my eyes stroke to a line which was written in bold letters. With this invention, now we can convert any base metal to gold. Thus gold has become a very common metal and so, gold lost its investment value and it has become very cheap now.

My sudden reaction was a loud impossible. But it was true. I lost everything I had in my life. I lost even my career that helped me to live. Nobody was ready to give me a job as I had a big gap in my career trusting my gold reserve. But, now without a job, home and dresses, I am comfortable as I have nothing else to think other than the next day food. I slept in railway platforms and I wore meager dresses. But, now I am comfortable. Now the thing that makes my life comfortable is not gold. It is "And why be anxious about a garment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow: they toil not nor spin; but I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. But if God so clothe the herbage of the field, that is today, and tomorrow is cast into an oven, [shall he] not much more [clothe] you, O little of faith? Yes, now my trust is in God and he takes care of me without fail and thus I am in peace.

The relevance of the constitution

Constitution of a country is the basic law of governance and it is superior to all other laws active there. An amendment of the constitution is the change brought in the written constitution with the consent of the majority of the members of both the houses of the parliament. The President of the country has to give ascent for the amended provision of the law to be active. All the amended laws of the constitution have similar weight age as in the case of laws in the original constitution.

 The 42^nd amendment of the constitution envisages such a great change in its content. Actually, it is an addition of a new provision i.e. The Fundamental Duties are defined as the moral obligations of all citizens to help promote a spirit of patriotism and to uphold the unity of India. These duties, set out in Part IV–A of the Constitution (under a constitutional amendment) concern individuals and the nation. There are 11 fundamental duties and the 5^th among them states “To promote harmony and the spirit of common brotherhood amongst all the people of India transcending religious, linguistic and regional or sectional diversities; to renounce practices derogatory to the dignity of women”. Thus, it is evident that one should quit practices belittling to the dignity of women.

The fundamental rights promises equality before law for all the citizens of the country, however the constitution enables the State to make special provision for women and children. The Directive principles of the state policy direct the state to make provision for Equal pay for equal work. Even after having this much of safety precaution, women are not safe here. The recent rape and further death of Ms. Jyothy in the national capital territory is the latest example. Jyothy is not an exclusive example for this tragedy. Nowadays, rape and attack against the individuality of women, has become a very common thing.

That means, the law of the country has no role in the life and activities of the citizens. It has become just black ink printed on paper. This situation leads to the question of relevance of the constitution. When the constitution and the law of the nation turn irrelevant, the governance mechanism of the country goes unconstitutional. Normally, when such an occasion arises, the nation has to suspend its constitution and think of a new system. The current government has to take such an action. If the government fails to take such a step, the youth of the country must agitate and must restore the natural constitution of the humane law in our country because fundamental rights and duties are not man-made. It is a divine creation.

Do you know me my love?

Though the news of divorce fails to gain interest in the modern times, the news of increase in the number of divorce gained my attraction when I was reading news paper this morning. The survey conducted by the popular news paper of the country gave shocking results as the most common causes for divorce were seemed to be very silly. The element that called my attention was the age factor.  It’s true that divorce is a universal phenomena, but it was a shocking information to me that the more number of divorces were among the couples of my age i.e. 25-30!!

All of us know that the keyword for a good married life is Mutual understanding. Don’t you think that it is a very general term? Like every married couple; I also did have often repeated friction in my married life. Some of my friends may find it a bit offensive in this revelation, but let me tell you one thing. It is quite natural. Both the partners took birth in different families and so, different cultures. They spent more number of years in their lives in a different environment. In this context, if there is no problem among partners, we must assume that something is wrong with either one of the partners.

I feel so and thus, I thought to share my way of a healthy ‘family life’. Now, let’s see what I have done to make my family atmosphere the best

1)      I love him

I love him from the bottom of my heart. I always used to be around him even though I make it a point to give him enough room for his personnel activities. I have several other commitments and relationships around me like my parents, in-laws, relatives and friends. I love them as well, but the difference between my love to them and love to him are quite evident. My love to them is conditional, whereas my love to him is unconditional. I don’t love him because he loves me or he takes good care of me. I love him because he is my man.

2)      I am open to recognize him

His success boosts me better than mine. I don’t hesitate to congratulate him when he really deserves it. I love to watch him to be the most successful and handsome man on earth. You might be feeling a bit hesitant to follow my example as your husband might feel odd with this new development. Do one thing. Start with the very basic thing. When he wears a new shirt and if you feel that he looks good in that shirt, tell him with all your love and if you find it not so good, be truthful and better not to comment.

3)      I Understand that he understands me

Most women complain that husband does not understand them, but it is not the reality. I always felt that he understands me better than anyone else on earth. He understands better than me. He understands my caliber, he understands my feelings and he understands my emotions. In the meanwhile, you want to tell that you never felt that your husband does understand you, but your feeling has cheated you this time and you don’t need to tell him that ‘you don’t understand me’ as he hates to listen it.

4)      He is my best friend
Everyone loves to spend time with friends, and what if your husband is your best friend. The happiness will pave the way for joy with such a best friend. He always gave me company wherever I want to be with and I always tried to enjoy all his entertaining moments. We never wanted to term this mutual enjoyment as adjustment as adjustment is sacrificing, which makes one partner superior. Frankly speaking, I always loved to enjoy his superiority.

Being a woman my experiences are focused on women, but these tips are good for men as well, if you could internalize my ideas. It is tested and proved, so the most effective at least in my case.

English is the greatest language on earth

“English is the greatest language on earth”. Today, I consider this as a great statement. You also might be counting this statement as something really valuable for many reasons. Your reasons may include

                  English is the language of globalization

                  English is the language of the Internet

                  English is the official language in 52 countries

                  1/4th of the global population understands it

                  1/3rd of them speak it to some degree

Etc…..etc….etc….. But my reason for considering this statement as ‘great’ is not any of the above. Now you might be confused…then what is my reason. So simple….It disturbed my sleep this morning with a lesson. Lesson!!!! What lesson??? Let’s see

Someone was announcing about the greatness of English through a mike for advertising their language Institute and unfortunately this particular sentence had the fate to wake me up in this January morning, while I wanted to cuddle my pillow and sleep. Till today, I loved English, but this unfortunate event made me think about the negatives of English. Negatives!!! Does English have negatives also? Your answer might be a No…, but my answer is yes to a greater extent. George Bernard Shaw could state it, then why not me?

Mr. Shaw constructed the word GHOTI to illustrate the irregularities of English language.  The theory elaborates the term Ghoti is the speling of the word fish. You must be wondering how? Here is your explanation.

                    gh, pronounced /f/ as in tough /tʌf/;

                    o, pronounced /ɪ/ as in women /ˈwɪmɪn/; and

                    ti, pronounced /ʃ/ as in nation /ˈneɪʃən/

Furthermore, here in this unphonetic language, we write Ghoti and read it as fish, whereas in several other languages, we don’t need to be an expert in the phonetics to read the language. In those languages, you only need to learn the alphabets and vowels to read the language without any confusion. On contrast, here in English, we read nature as nechar and future as foochar.

Now don’t you think that English is a stupid language? To add your confusion, let me suggest you to go to the dictionary and find how unphonetic this language is. This is only a small reason for this cause. There are several other exceptions in English Grammar and style. But let me state that, with all these irregularities , I respect English from the bottom of my heart. You must be wondering why? Why am I taking such a double standard, right? The reason is simple. English could become the no: 1 language of the world with all these irregularities. With this feature, this language gave me a great lesson. Your negatives do not prevent you to become a winner.  Even after having a lot of negatives, you can emerge as a winner. I must thank English for such a great lesson. I got this lesson when I woke from sleep. So friends awake ignore your negatives and try for a great life. You can achieve it.