“You were outstanding in your college days…. But now, you
are not writing in that way….why? Why are you not producing similar output even
after having a lot of experience in life?” You are not drawing well, you are
not singing well, you are not studying as you did and you are not even reading books
which were your passion. What happened? and what caused for such a very drastic
change? This is an often question whenever I meet my old friends, relatives or
teachers. You also must have faced similar questions in your life.
People ask such questions to show their concern and
consideration to us. They consider such comments and questions as part of
positive stroke. Some people show a tendency to compare such comments to renaissance
and revival of English society that paved the way to modernization. But, are
they really saving their anticipated purpose? Let’s have a brief look on the
reality behind the failure of a talented person. I would like to give a few examples
from my own life to explain this context.
Recently a very close friend has gifted me a few set of
pencils. I was very happy to receive them as I was badly in need of those
pencils. But, I needed them and wanted those twenty years back. If I were
having them as a student, I would have performed miracles in white paper and
would have been known as a good painter. Instead, ‘the little me’ had to picture
all my imaginations on the wall and in return I received a lot of abuse and slapping
on my face. Unknowingly my little brain developed a fear that forbade me to
draw.
Similarly, when I wrote in a different style, my parents,
relatives and teachers created a block in my heart saying that “all writers are
bad people and you as a girl cannot join that ‘dirty club’”. I then had to hide
my imaginations in my own heart. As time passed the complicated experiences of
my life made me forget that ‘I can write’. The singer in me also died in
similar passion and I finally became a ‘mere me’ instead of becoming a painter,
writer or singer. Today, I am very happy to receive these pencils and I am
expecting these pencils to play the role of a reviving agent.
Twenty years back, I wanted them and if I got them at that
time, I would have made wonders and today when I got it, I am finding it
difficult to use them with the similar heart as my heart and brain are shaped
with another pace. Today, what I want is something else and I have no idea when
will I get it? I hope I may not require 20 more years when I will find it
difficult to use it. Look at the nature. A plant needs the extra amount of
nitrogen and zinc during its initial years, but after becoming a tree they
require it in a very lesser quantity. I hope this is an answer for all those
who ask questions about my inefficiency. This answer is not only for me, but
for all those who face similar questions and situations.